Comments on: Your Spouse: Financial Teammate or Financial Enemy? http://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy A personal finance blog teaching you how to live debt free and use credit wisely. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:18:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kevinhttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-54000 Kevin Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:59:30 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-54000 Great comments everyone. It's really great to read that most of you are enjoying successful financial management with your significant other. To those that aren't, best of luck -- that's a tough battle unfortunately. Great comments everyone. It’s really great to read that most of you are enjoying successful financial management with your significant other. To those that aren’t, best of luck — that’s a tough battle unfortunately.

]]> By: Golfing Girlhttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53845 Golfing Girl Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:23:07 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53845 Wow-- a lot of Dave Ramsey fans. Our financial epiphany occurred the night we heard Dave Ramsey on the radio. That spurred us to get rid of $50K in debt and build our first emergency fund. Even though we were on the same team, it took Dave Ramsey to give us a game plan. Wow– a lot of Dave Ramsey fans. Our financial epiphany occurred the night we heard Dave Ramsey on the radio. That spurred us to get rid of $50K in debt and build our first emergency fund. Even though we were on the same team, it took Dave Ramsey to give us a game plan.

]]> By: Bethhttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53813 Beth Tue, 19 Jan 2010 06:53:44 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53813 Candy, I'm with you. We are finally on the same page and it is great. Keep working on your husband Kim and don't give up. Candy,

I’m with you. We are finally on the same page and it is great. Keep working on your husband Kim and don’t give up.

]]> By: Booties, Chickens, and Link Love Oh My! | Squawkfoxhttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53724 Booties, Chickens, and Link Love Oh My! | Squawkfox Sun, 17 Jan 2010 22:24:10 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53724 [...] Your Spouse: Financial Teammate or Financial Enemy? | No Debt Plan [...] [...] Your Spouse: Financial Teammate or Financial Enemy? | No Debt Plan [...]

]]> By: Candy Hunerhttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53614 Candy Huner Sat, 16 Jan 2010 12:05:06 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53614 My husband have been married 21 years and I have to say we are finally on the same page. Dave Ramsey has really taught us and we wish we would have learned when we were younger. God's Blessings! My husband have been married 21 years and I have to say we are finally on the same page. Dave Ramsey has really taught us and we wish we would have learned when we were younger. God’s Blessings!

]]> By: Tashena Lynette Gonzaleshttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53567 Tashena Lynette Gonzales Fri, 15 Jan 2010 22:24:16 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53567 Kim I feel your pain, my husband sounds very similar. Yesterday he called me to say he would like drive 35 minutes to another city to pick up some special chair because he has extra money. Today he wants to go to the movies even though we have plans tomorrow that I've spent money on. Try not to get upset control as much of the finances as you can be patient and keep explaining things to him. He also forgot to call for unemployment and that will be late. I told him how we need that money because we have a $300 heat bill. I just keep reminding him of our bills and the money we need. Another thing I am steadily lowering our expenses. He has his personal account and we have a joint one. If I start spending less and less on groceries and other expenses that gives me more in groceries. So keep ready these frugal blogs and learning and growing I too am excited to hear the part about what if your partner is not your teammate but your enemy. Kim I feel your pain, my husband sounds very similar. Yesterday he called me to say he would like drive 35 minutes to another city to pick up some special chair because he has extra money. Today he wants to go to the movies even though we have plans tomorrow that I’ve spent money on. Try not to get upset control as much of the finances as you can be patient and keep explaining things to him. He also forgot to call for unemployment and that will be late. I told him how we need that money because we have a $300 heat bill. I just keep reminding him of our bills and the money we need. Another thing I am steadily lowering our expenses. He has his personal account and we have a joint one. If I start spending less and less on groceries and other expenses that gives me more in groceries. So keep ready these frugal blogs and learning and growing I too am excited to hear the part about what if your partner is not your teammate but your enemy.

]]> By: No Debt Plan’s Marriage and finance series | Frugal Living Newshttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53564 No Debt Plan’s Marriage and finance series | Frugal Living News Fri, 15 Jan 2010 21:09:10 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53564 [...] Kevin at No Debt Plan has started a series of articles on married couples and finances. The first installment is How this married team works. [...] [...] Kevin at No Debt Plan has started a series of articles on married couples and finances. The first installment is How this married team works. [...]

]]> By: Monroe on a Budget » No Debt Plan’s Marriage and finance serieshttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53545 Monroe on a Budget » No Debt Plan’s Marriage and finance series Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:52:47 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53545 [...] Kevin at No Debt Plan has started a series of articles on married couples and finances. The first installment is How this married team works. [...] [...] Kevin at No Debt Plan has started a series of articles on married couples and finances. The first installment is How this married team works. [...]

]]> By: Bethhttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53456 Beth Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:13:17 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53456 I really enjoy this site and the good comments and articles. Keep up the good work. I really enjoy this site and the good comments and articles. Keep up the good work.

]]> By: Bethhttp://www.nodebtplan.net/2010/01/11/your-spouse-financial-teammate-or-financial-enemy/#comment-53330 Beth Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:50:54 +0000 http://www.nodebtplan.net/?p=4353#comment-53330 Kim, My experience is similar to yours. I considered my husband very much a spender, not a saver. For almost all of our marriage I am the one who has handled the money. I decided several years ago to get out of debt. We had some student loans, and some credit card debt. I went to the Davey Ramsey Financial Peace University but my husband didn't. I started implementing the Dave Ramsey plan, but didn't include my husband. Instead, I started dictating what was going to happen fnancially in our home. I went to a straight cash basis, got rid of my credit cards, and put us on a tight budget, all without involving my husband. I thought he either didn't care or wouldn't want to participate. I found out later that he had run up some very substantial credit card debt. We had a huge fight. He told me why he had gotten into debt, and said he wanted to become involved in our family finances. I was very reluctent to let him because I didn't trust him. He lost his job, took another that paid him a lot less, and unfortunately for us, he used credit cards again to try and pay bills, and make sure I had the money I told him I needed each month. You can imagine how angry I was at him. To his credit, he decided to take the Dave Ramsey classes. He asked me if I would go with him, but because I had already gone through the classes, and because I was so angry at him, I told him no. To his credit, he did go to the classes finished the course. After he was done, we decided to try and save our marriage by working together on finances. At our first budget meeting, I got incredibly angry at him. I said a lot of hurtful things, and ended up leaving the house because I couldn't stand being around him. After I cooled of I came home and apologized, but the damage had been done. He stopped talking to me about our finances and withdrew into a shell. I decided that I would talk to him, and give it one more try even though I felt justified in everything I had said to him, and had no confidence he would not go back to his old ways. I am glad I did. I'm still angry about how he handled credit cards, but I've come to understand that for the most part his heart was in the right place even if his actions were completely wrong. For the last couple of years we have been working very hard to get out of debt following the Dave Ramsey methods. I have found that working with him instead of being critical of him has made a world of difference in our lives. I didn't think he would change or that he even wanted to change, but I was wrong. What it really took was a lot of love on my part, a willingness to not be as critical as I had been, and a lot of patience. If your husband hasn't gone to the Dave Ramsey classes, encourage him to go, and go with him. If he hasn't approached you about working together, go talk to him. If you haven't told him you love him, tell him, even if its hard to do, and even if you don't completely mean it. Believe me it is worth the effort. Good luck Kim,
My experience is similar to yours. I considered my husband very much a spender, not a saver. For almost all of our marriage I am the one who has handled the money. I decided several years ago to get out of debt. We had some student loans, and some credit card debt. I went to the Davey Ramsey Financial Peace University but my husband didn’t. I started implementing the Dave Ramsey plan, but didn’t include my husband. Instead, I started dictating what was going to happen fnancially in our home. I went to a straight cash basis, got rid of my credit cards, and put us on a tight budget, all without involving my husband. I thought he either didn’t care or wouldn’t want to participate. I found out later that he had run up some very substantial credit card debt. We had a huge fight. He told me why he had gotten into debt, and said he wanted to become involved in our family finances. I was very reluctent to let him because I didn’t trust him. He lost his job, took another that paid him a lot less, and unfortunately for us, he used credit cards again to try and pay bills, and make sure I had the money I told him I needed each month. You can imagine how angry I was at him. To his credit, he decided to take the Dave Ramsey classes. He asked me if I would go with him, but because I had already gone through the classes, and because I was so angry at him, I told him no. To his credit, he did go to the classes finished the course. After he was done, we decided to try and save our marriage by working together on finances. At our first budget meeting, I got incredibly angry at him. I said a lot of hurtful things, and ended up leaving the house because I couldn’t stand being around him. After I cooled of I came home and apologized, but the damage had been done. He stopped talking to me about our finances and withdrew into a shell. I decided that I would talk to him, and give it one more try even though I felt justified in everything I had said to him, and had no confidence he would not go back to his old ways. I am glad I did. I’m still angry about how he handled credit cards, but I’ve come to understand that for the most part his heart was in the right place even if his actions were completely wrong. For the last couple of years we have been working very hard to get out of debt following the Dave Ramsey methods. I have found that working with him instead of being critical of him has made a world of difference in our lives. I didn’t think he would change or that he even wanted to change, but I was wrong. What it really took was a lot of love on my part, a willingness to not be as critical as I had been, and a lot of patience. If your husband hasn’t gone to the Dave Ramsey classes, encourage him to go, and go with him. If he hasn’t approached you about working together, go talk to him. If you haven’t told him you love him, tell him, even if its hard to do, and even if you don’t completely mean it. Believe me it is worth the effort. Good luck

]]>